Are you here because you don’t know what to do to overcome your breakup depression? I feel you! Getting over your ex was not that easy but it is not impossible.
I’m going to tell you a little bit of my story, I was always an independent girl who always tried to make my own plans and go for my dreams. I traveled a lot, I volunteered alone in other countries, I knew what I wanted and I always thought about how I was going to achieve it. But I had also planned a life with my partner at the time.
As life happens, I ended my relationship… a love breakup after 8 years of relationship. In those moments all I wanted was to disappear, suddenly my life had gone down the drain, my life plans had changed, and now who was going to be my life partner?
Now who was going to support me in my worst and best moments? If I had given my all, why did it have to happen like this? I had broken into a thousand pieces.
Time for myself
I spent months trying to get over my ex. They were months of not knowing what was going on, I thought I would never end that cycle, that pain. That breakup was like a divorce for me, we weren’t married, but we had shared so much time, we had spent so many experiences together, good and bad moments.
And well, finally after months I made it. Today I can say that I feel at peace with myself, and that everything I went through to get to this point was worth it to o get back my confidence and realize my worthand how beautiful and changeable life can be.
Here I give you 10 tips to overcome a breakup depression that has you stuck:
1. Cry everytime you feel it
Maybe it is one of the most obvious things but many times out of pride we let it go and we do not realize how important it is to get rid of that pain.
To be honest, for about 3-4 months there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t cry and remember what had happened. I had never in my life felt so much pain, nor cried so much.
But it is one of the things that helped me the most to heal, to release my emotions to get over my ex.
Many times we hold back and think that if we cry we are weak, or why would we need to cry if the other person is maybe already having fun.
Forget what the other person is doing and focus on you and how you feel.
You are going through a “loss” and it is a grief that you have to heal.
Generally we feel this pain because we touch the wound of the abandonment of the father (or mother for men) that we have from our childhood, this wound is characterized by feelings of abandonment, rejection, loneliness, disapproval. And to heal it you need to feel it again, not avoid it.
Take your time to feel, do not avoid the pain, if you avoid it, it will not leave your life, and at some point your body can manifest it as a disease, because it didn’t find another way out.
2. Forgive her/him and yourself
It’s useless to stay in the hatred, resentment and revenge towards another person, the same hatred you wish to him you are wishing it to yourself.
Whatever the reason for which you have ended your love relationship, something that you have to do is to forgive that person and especially yourself.
Why yourself? Maybe you feel blame, you feel you failed yourself, you wanted do to more, or any other situation.
Forgiving is a noble act, because it’s letting go of all that anger and resentment you feel, it’s letting go of your past to prepare for the future.
Do not expect the other person to do the same. Remember that not everyone thinks the same way, it’s a giving without expecting anything in return.
How to learn to forgive?
- Acknowledge the hurt you feel, don’t hide it or repress it, it’s something that is there and emotionally hurts.
- Accept what happened, no matter how much you want it to change it, you will not be able to change it. Accept it as a stage in your life, accept that person for what he/she was and all the good and bad things you lived together.
- Let go of the past, the other person did not fail you, did not cheat on you, did not hurt you. It was your feelings that made you feel that way. And you yourself are the one who attracted that situation because of your lineage patterns. The other person is only showing you the reflection of what you are.
Forgiving is an act of self-love.
Time will not heal your wounds, what will heal your wounds to get over your ex is your decision to take that step to forgiveness and acceptance.
How will you know that you have already forgiven?
Because by talking about your experience or that person you will feel peace.
3. Talk to your best friend or people you trust.
Stop thinking and rethinking what happened, call those people you really trust, tell them what is happening to you and get those ideas that torment your mind out of your mind.
If you are one of those people who tell everything to everyone maybe this point will not be difficult for you. But if you are like me that it is hard for you to talk about your life and what you feel believe me it will be very liberating to express in words everything you feel.
Just make sure it is with a real person who listens to you and does not judge you, we all make mistakes and nothing worse than you want to vent and the person you tell is just telling you what you did wrong.
Do not limit yourself to tell only 1 person, if you have more people in your life in whom you trust talk to several of them, express it and get out what hurts you, and let yourself flow, if you have to cry do it.
4. Go to psychological therapy
We are in an era where dealing with our emotions is becoming more and more normalized, and it’s very necessary. If our parents and grandparents had gone to therapy our society would be very different.
Going to therapy is the most normal thing to do, if you feel very depressed or with too many emotions that you do not know how to handle do not hesitate to ask for help.
Talking to your friends will help a lot but they may not take you on the road to healing, and it is important that you close that cycle.
There are already different types of therapies to deal with emotions, you can go to a psychologist, a coach, a spiritual therapy, a group therapy, a support group or even listening to podcasts of specialists can also help.
It can also help to read self-help books for couples.
5.Travel to overcome a breakup depression
There is nothing better than distracting your mind by traveling.
Apart from getting to know new places, customs and cultures, traveling gives you back your power. During the trip you go through many challenges, overcoming them increases your self-esteem and self-esteem, your mind expands and you realize what you are capable of.
Getting over your ex is part of the journey, because you make time for yourself and realize that there are thousands of people in the world and you may meet your next love along the way.
Travel, volunteer or get on a train. And if you don’t like to travel, spend on experiences, like going out dancing, going on a zip line, a spa day, something that makes you feel alive, special, unique, that touches your being and not just something material that will make you feel happy for 5 minutes.
6.Take your time to go out with someone again.
One nail does not pull out another nail. Live your grief and heal your wounds before dating again.
Overcome a breakup depression No one likes to be used to heal what you went through with your ex and fill that emotional void.
Before dating someone else fill those emotional voids for yourself, realize that another person is not going to complete you, you are your own complement and your partner is just a life partner.
Be alone for a while, enjoy your solitude, your own company.
Know yourself, sometimes being with another person for a long time makes you lose your own identity.
Give yourself the opportunity to know yourself, to know what you like and how you like it, so that when the right one comes along you will know that it is him/her for who she/he is, not for the voids she/he can fill, because you would go back to a toxic relationship.
When you believe that you are ready, and you have already taken the leap of overcoming your ex, the doors will open by themselves, and you can try to manifest a new partner as you want it.
7. Do different activities
Change the routine you had with that person, try doing different things. If he/she went to the same gym, change the gym. Avoid frequenting places where you spent time together, even for a few weeks.
Learn new things, a new language, a dance class, go back to doing what you like, attend group meetings or a new activity where you can focus your mind and take your thoughts away from that breakup and overcome your depression.
When we are in a relationship of several years we tend to focus so much on that person that we forget that there are more people around us with whom we can make plans and maintain a friendship, and when something like a breakup happens we feel lonely because we did not maintain friendships with more people.
Doing new activities will help you meet more people and you will realize that there are many people with whom you can create an amazing friendship.
8. Avoid looking at their social networks and keeping in touch with your ex.
When you least expect it you are there checking their Facebook, Instagram, Whats app seeing what he/she does or doesn’t do, even a favor and stop seeing he/she social networks.
If you already ended that relationship it was for a reason, and the fact that you are checking he/she networks will not change or improve anything, on the contrary, it can give you anxiety, anger, jealousy or imagine things that are not.
Also avoid sending messages or calling, if you have something to clarify with that person do it but don’t become to be insisting every day just to maintain communication and not let it go.
Remember, you want to get over your ex. Do what you have to do to feel peace.
9.Walk in nature
After my breakup there were many moments when I felt alone and very anxious, I felt depression and a lot of pressure in my chest, I would lie down and I didn’t know what to do to overcome that.
Then I would go out and walk in a park full of trees, that relaxed me a lot.
Nature is so wise and so perfect that the moment we share with her, we make an energy exchange. Our dense energy leaves and fills us with high energy, making a perfect balance.
Many people prefer the forest, others the beach, whatever your favorite place is, connect with nature, it is a habit that undoubtedly makes you happier.
10. Write letters with things you never told him/her
Many times in a relationship we don’t express everything for fear that the other person will leave us or fear of hurting her/him. We keep so many things that when they accumulate there comes a time when you want to get it all out, but it’s too late.
Write a letter with all that you kept and never said, everything that hurt you, everything that hurt you, everything you would have liked her/him to do, the times he/she wasn’t there for you. Describe it in detail and express as much as you can.
No, you are not going to send it to him, maybe you would like to, but you will do the following:
- Fold the letter in 8 parts
- Light a candle
- Burn the letter with the fire of the candle.
- While it is burning repeat the following “I let go and release all the pain, sadness and (whatever you feel) that I felt, and cut the energetic ties I had with (name).
This is a ritual that will help you release your emotions and feel better.
I really hope that after applying these practices you overcome your breakup depression.
I also share with you 10 self-love tips and 111 self-love and empowerment affirmations that will super help you in the process.
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